Academic Fantasy

The Student Show

The house lights flash for a minute, then slowly fade to black.

A spot light comes on, illuminating a slightly built, yet imposing figure standing in front of the curtain at center stage.  He is gray of hair, and wears narrow wire-rimmed reading glasses on an aquiline nose.  His tweed coat is threadbare but looks comfortable and thoroughly appropriate.  His dark trousers are old, a bit chalky around the pockets, but well-pressed.  He wears a white shirt, and a dark necktie that is narrower than the current fashion, but made of silk.

Glaring at the audience over his glasses. The Professor points his forefinger outward, and sweeps it across the house, as, in a strong bass voice, he starts to sing, a capella:

"You students didn't come here,

To meet a bunch of sweeties,

You came here to meet Meeeeee!

To see if you could cut it!

And then, if you cut it,

To be proud that you cut it with Meeeeee!"

The spot goes out, The Professor exits silently and invisibly, and the curtain opens on a raucous tailgate party in the stadium parking lot, just prior to The Big Game.

[There is your opening, dear students.  You write the rest, and I shall audition for the part of "The Professor."]